As I'm low in self esteem 😔
“Not being "worthy" of anything”, “I wouldn't wish to burden others if that makes sense?”, “I feel inferior.. as I said .. because of……..….As I'm low in self-esteem”.
In the above verbatim, we can observe low self-esteem is a concern that my clients bring daily. In this piece, I will be focusing on negative thoughts which maintain low self-esteem.
Firstly, What is self-esteem? and how is it different from self-confidence?
Self-esteem is simply the evaluation of our own worth. When we are low in self-esteem we feel useless and have low motivation which can further cause us to miss out on important opportunities in our personal, social, and professional life. Low self-esteem causes us to dwell on negative thoughts. Both, self-esteem and self-confidence are concepts of self. However, Self-confidence refers to belief in one’s own abilities to succeed in challenges and goals.
Now that we know what self-esteem is, here are some “tips” that you can give a try and see how it works for you.
Negative thoughts can cause us to avoid some of our behaviors. For example, you might avoid meeting your friends because of the negative thought “They don’t like me”. To resolve this issue, make a list of tasks that you have been avoiding from low to moderate discomfort levels. Start with the lowest discomfort and do it every day till you can reach the task with the highest discomfort. Write down your prediction like shown below and finally cross out the prediction which didn’t come true. In the table given below, I have used red color to cross out predictions that didn’t come true. This activity would help you to find evidence that would disconfirm your negative thoughts.
Now, to reduce the anxious feeling caused by these tasks practice Jacobson’s Progressive Relaxation Exercise, which you can find on YouTube.
The key is to practice regularly and see how it works for you. I hope it helps.
If u would like to know more, you can let me know, for Part 2. Let me know in the comment section how this method turned out for you.
Take Care
PS: This one took a lot of time, research, and reading. So, thank you for waiting.
References
Beck, J. S. (2020). Cognitive behavior therapy (3rd ed.). Guilford Press.
Fennell, Melanie J. V. (1997). Low Self-Esteem: A Cognitive Perspective. Behavioural and Cognitive Psychotherapy, 25(1), 1–. doi:10.1017/S1352465800015368
Freeman, Daniel; Pugh, Katherine; Dunn, Graham; Evans, Nicole; Sheaves, Bryony; Waite, Felicity; Černis, Emma; Lister, Rachel; Fowler, David (2014). An early Phase II randomised controlled trial testing the effect on persecutory delusions of using CBT to reduce negative cognitions about the self: The potential benefits of enhancing self confidence. Schizophrenia Research, 160(1-3), 186–192. doi:10.1016/j.schres.2014.10.038
I think another difficult part of low self esteem and self confidence has to do with finding people who support you. My main problem is that my significant other and many important members of my family have been dismissive of what I say because I'm too talkative, because I'm like a kid wanting attention and needing to be recognized by others... I have a hard time getting them to understand that their comments are bringing me down...they'll tell me what I'm doing/saying wrong, they'll tell me I shouldn't talk too much, I should be careful not to interrupt and say stuff when it's not the right time... Which is making me feel even more like a burden, a hindrance, someone who should just smile and nod, answer when spoken to and not get in the way... And I don't know how to make them understand...
So Sorry for my late response .
Low Esteem can be done away with -
With United Help , Care , Concern , from our Society as a Whole .
Yes , True ! It will only be a joint effort .
Person may be in low esteem due to various reasons .
But , the cheering -up process , initiative must be taken - up by All - Parents , Family , Sublings , Neighbours , Relatives , Friends , Teachers , etc .
Talk to the person to uplift his mood .
And if once then , that person starts talking then it becomes our duty to fall silent and listen to that person .
Yes , sit with that person , give that person some of your time , attention . These small things work like magic .
Never leave such people alone in their low esteem - it may turn dangerous .
The person may slip into depression
And even contemplate of committing suicide .
So Never Never Ignore such people .
Help them out of their low esteem .
They may be feeling useless , worthless .